What were your childhood dreams? How many of them have you achieved?
If you find yourself thinking you haven’t achieved any, or very few, read on - you may be surprised…
I found a video the other day of a man named Randy Pausch, who died earlier this year of pancreatic cancer, giving his “last lecture” on this very subject. It’s about 90 minutes long, and worth every second. You can see the video here on YouTube. Very inspiring.
Watching it got me to thinking about my childhood dreams, and I realized that, like Randy, I have also realized some of my favorites:
1. Be a DJ on the radio
2. Be a rock star
3. Be a nomad
4. Live in the big big city
5. Help other people realize their dreams
Here’s a little bit about where each of these dreams came from and how I have achieved them, to one degree or another, in my life. The process of writing all of this down has been very satisfying, leaving me grateful and appreciative of all with which I have been blessed.
I highly recommend trying it on yourself, and have included some questions at the end for your consideration.
In the meantime, please enjoy these bits and pieces of my story:
Be a DJ on the radio
For my 10th birthday, my parents took all of us kids (there were five of us at the time - all boys) to Marie Callender’s in San Bernardino, where amidst the ruckus and the noise of the restaurant, I opened the coolest gift I could possibly have received at that time in my life: an AM/FM alarm clock radio.
I could not wait to get home to plug it in, and I remember even falling asleep on the drive home with its box as my pillow. Whatever it was that the little box promised, I could not have been more satisfied. It brought the sounds of the early eighties into my room: Men at Work, Air Supply, Culture Club, Toto, Stray Cats, Eurythmics, Michael Jackson, Hall & Oates, Prince, Olivia Newton John - all now part of the soundtrack of my life…
… a soundtrack that was hosted by none other than Rick Dees - the silver-throated voice of Southern California mornings. I listened to him every day, and imagined what it would be like to be on the air, speaking to thousands upon thousands of listeners every day, sharing my musical discoveries, making jokes, and being a part of the everyday experience of my listeners.
Fast-forward about 12 years. Long Beach City College, Long Beach, California. My friend Marcelino introduced me to KLBC, the campus radio station, where he had a two- or three-hour show every week. I sat in the booth while he played CDs and records, turned knobs up and down, and ran through the names of the artists, songs, albums, and labels of the music he was playing.
I was hooked. I signed up for Radio/TV Broadcasting 1 the next semester, and spent virtually all of my free time for the next 2 1/2 years working at the station - on the air and in the office as the Music Director, which allowed me to listen to many of the hundreds of new releases that came into the station every week. I also got to see plenty of free shows in Los Angeles, and even brought artists to the campus to play.
It was a blast, and even though we broadcast at a 200-milliwatt signal waaaay up on the AM dial (most receivers didn’t even go up to 1700!), I had the experience of being on the air, playing my music and being host of the airwaves.
Be a Rock Star
This is the one that is probably most familiar to you, seeing that Shawnslist came about as a way to keep in touch with folks who have been to a live performance.
Not long after the clock radio and Rick Dees entered my life, I discovered Michael Jackson, who became my all-time favorite performer - and then Prince, whose “Purple Rain” inspired me with dreams of being on the stage guitar in hand, making the ladies swoon and the dudes pump their fists in the air…
Near the end of my career at KLBC, I realized that I really wanted to pursue music. I hooked up with a band called Steel Parade (before they were playing for the likes of Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt - they’re still crankin’; check the link!) and sang backup vocals and played percussion with them for about as long as it took to apply, be accepted, and then leave Long Beach for Berklee College of Music in Boston.
At Berklee, I performed in so many different kinds of ensembles I lost count: African drums, reggae, calypso, country, bluegrass, an ensemble that played only music by P-Funk… it was awesome. I also produced TWO live performances of The Beatles’ Abbey Road - in its entirety, with ensembles of 16 and 21 players, respectively.
(Side note: I was the student commencement speaker at my graduation, in which I talk about the Abbey Road experience. If you like, you can read the text of my speech - as well as gaze upon a beautiful magna cum laude image by clicking here.)
Since graduating from Berklee in 2002, I have played on subway platforms, in cafes, pubs, bars, in private homes, on seminar stages, and in studios from Toronto to every state in New England, to New York City, Florida, Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, California, Texas, and probably some other states that are slipping my mind.
I’ve played for one, and I’ve played for thousands. One of the coolest performances was at the Millionaire Mind Intensive in Toronto, November 2006. At the urging of some very special people, I created an opportunity for myself to play on the stage there, and proceeded to bring 800 people to their feet, dancing and singing along with “Lighten Up“, an anthem to letting life be fun and full of ease and grace. What a rush!
Then there was the Southern California mini-tour of December 2008, where I played four nights in a row, each topping the last in the quality of the music and the connection with the audience, and culminating in a full room at Viento y Agua in Long Beach, where some people drove 100 miles to come hear me play! That was an amazing run, and I’ll remember that night always.
So I can, with gratitude and pride, say that I have fulfilled my dream of being a rock star. : )
Be a nomad
This childhood dream is a little bit more difficult to quantify, and I would have to say that I’m still in the process of fulfilling it.
I found out who the Grateful Dead and, by association, the Deadheads, were in high school. While I came to school dressed in black, with my head shaved all the way around, leaving only a dyed-black mop on top, with safety-pins keeping my shirts together, there were these other kids who dressed like hippies and carried themselves with the same mellow attitude.
I was inspired by them, and even though it took a few years to put some color into my wardrobe, I started to listen to the music and find myself dreaming of traveling around the country in a VW bus, enjoying the beauty of the earth, and finding ways to make being on the road pay the bills.
Well, the VW bus has given way in my imagination to a Freightliner Sprinter, converted to run on veggie oil, solar power, or some other clean energy source, and the vision has come to include putting on events anywhere and everywhere possible - events that celebrate life and bring people into consciousness of themselves as creators of the future.
And although that piece of it has yet to materialize, I can say that I have lived semi-nomadically for the last 10 to 15 years, having hung my hat on both coasts and in the south: San Francisco, Costa Mesa, and Long Beach in California, Boston and various other towns in the greater Boston area in Massachusetts, and most recently, Austin and Spicewood, Texas.
Live in the Big Big City
I spent a lot of my time as a young person sitting in my front yard, looking out over the dry grassy field across the street to the mountains in the distance, watching the cars and the tumbleweeds roll by, daydreaming of being in the city.
Which city didn’t really matter; what was important was being in the midst of the action - people coming and going, live music, social movements… I wanted to be a part of it all, and the small town where I lived seemed to be stuck in a time-warp with nothing going on.
Having lived now in three of 25 largest cities in the US (San Francisco, Austin, and Boston, weighing in at #’s 14, 16, and 23, respectively), I can definitely check this one off of my list.
In fact, I’ve seen the people coming and going, I’ve heard lots of live music, and I’ve even participated in social movements (remember Operation Desert Storm? Marches in San Francisco? I was there…) - and I’m pretty clear that I’d rather make my home somewhere I can see stars at night; where I can sleep a whole night without hearing a single siren; and where there’s enough space to get lost in the woods.
Help Other People Realize Their Dreams
This is the one that cuts to the heart of everything else.
Why be a DJ? A rock star? Why be where the people are? Why travel?
For me, the answer to all of these is simple: to reach the highest number of people, and to help them find the inspiration, the courage, and the energy to move boldly in the direction of their dreams.
When I was in high school, I had a severe crush on one of my classmates. We sat in English class my freshman year, writing notes back and forth, back and forth - me telling her how much I loved her and wanted to be with her, her telling me how much she valued my friendship and couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything that would jeopardize that.
All I could see in her eyes was a beautiful young woman who deserved to be happy and fulfilled, yet who was trapped into thinking that she could not have her cake and eat it, too (ie, have me as a friend AND a lover! Ah, the delicious agony of being fourteen…). And this is only one example of how I saw what people could potentially do and be, and how they limited themselves.
I spent much of my twenties very angry - at life, God, my parents, and people in general - and found myself lashing out at people a lot because they were unable to see in themselves what I saw in them. It wasn’t until age 28 or so, when I discovered I possessed a great aptitude for addiction - to drugs, alcohol, food - that I began to understand that my anger was displaced, and that what I was seeing in others was merely a reflection of my own potential for greatness.
Through 12-step work, as well as many courses, training programs, and experiences with transformational organizations like Landmark Education, the Sterling Men’s Weekend, Men’s Divisions International, Miracle of Love, Peak Potentials, and VisionForce, I began to live in such a way as to see myself as a valuable contributor to my community, as a leader worthy of people’s trust, and as someone with the capacity for great patience and compassion, even while giving people the kick in the ass that they need to pursue their dreams.
Regardless where I go from here, I can with certainty say that this particular childhood dream - being a catalyst for others in finding their groove and realizing their dreams - is the one that lies at the root of all else I do in life.
Many of you have said to me that Shawnslist gives you some of that “juice”, and I hope that this particular broadcast has given you a nice dose, and that you are thinking of YOUR childhood dreams.
I am grateful you are listening, and I invite you to post your comments to this blog:
What are/were your childhood dreams? Have any of them materialized? Which one(s)? Which one(s) are you still working on? Which one(s) have been lying dormant? What, if anything, would you like to do about it?
*sM.
